where

where have my words gone?

brother.

have you seen them?

did you feel them?

as they shied from the light

and withered to dust and ashes

in the barren core of my being,

did you grieve for them?

like i have

in a once upon a time

without the happily ever after.

my words are dead.

and with them

my selfhood.

grieve for them for me please.

for this dusk in life prevents

the hollow me to do so.

in this once upon a time

without a happily ever after.

i miss you.

i miss you... bad.

don't leave me hanging...

goodbye II

i will sing for you.

if you let me.

i will sing for you.

though my tongue knows not the words.

and my heart is numb.

you are at a loss. your adieu but a mumble.

i will sing for you. of the endless dawn. of flights of fancy. occupying our distressed embarrassment. to hide the fact that we are dancing in circles.

of the eternal dusk. in the dim light we keep. unspoken promises. doubts and dreams.

i will sing for you. for i will teach my tongue and force my heart. to utter the words and hum the notes. meaningless now.

you eye the horizon. my song fades...

goodbye I

i will dance for you.

if you let me.

i will dance for you.

no rite of spring. for spring has passed. and it has failed us.

in the tension of my body, allow yourself to witness summer.

its heat and passion leashed and grim,.

i will gesture you an autumn. frail and grave.

in the dying light we come alive.

in the autumn of rebirth.

i sigh a winter.

its mourning silent and circumspect.

like a badge worn with pride.

in an exclamation to the living world. yes. i know what living is.

what loving is.

i will dance for you. in the dying light. with bated breath.

farewell.

les masques...

i absentmindedly sat in front of It.

with a hint of a slouch (just ever so slightly...).

i was conditioning myself for another escape. another respite from the banalities of a dull life.

but a conundrum was reopened for me.

It was talking to me about masks.

Oh, i said. i know about masks. they are indispensable.

Yes. It said.


for how can you deceive the world to believe that you are happy

...or excited.

...or interesting...and interested.

one should always have his mask ready. a mask for this...or for that.

a mask to wear when the crudity of life begets too many braids and braids of lies and

tear drops. salty. bitter. and in rarity, sweet.

a mask to wear for the gravity of the moment.

It was talking to me of masks...i concurred.

Then anOther begged to disagree.

the Other posed a question...with all innocence (that appealed to one's better sensibilities...and curiosity of course).

it talked to me of a way of to render masks useless.

but this way was harder...

for it asks to have one teach his own face to become the mask.

there is truth in artifice. apparently.

you? where are your masks?

...fuck.

learn.

learn.

learn to say goodbye.

learn to accept that it is not because it was not meant to be.

he just doesn't want it. want you.

the small slices at the heart-core, that eats away at your vitality.

would one stab be more merciful?

...fuck.

avril

it is april... and i believe we are supposed to fly kites...

but the wind is dead...

for the wind is the bearer of our dreams.

yet we no longer dream.

alas.

the wind is dead.

and we can no longer fly kites.


c'est avril... et je crois que nous sommes censés voler des cerfs-volants...

mais le vent est mort...

pour le vent est le porteur de nos rêves.

pourtant nous ne rêvons plus.

hélas.

le vent est mort.

et nous pouvons plus ne voler des cerfs-volants.


C'est avril... et je crois que nous sommes supposés pour voler des cerf-volants...

Mais le vent est mort...

Pour le vent est le porteur de nos rêves.

Pourtant nous aucun rêve plus long.

Hélas.

Le vent est mort.

Et nous ne pouvons plus les cerf-volants de mouche.