decay is bliss

decay is bliss... sounds like garbage mouthed off by some goth poser... produce of a wannabe...a reject. burdened by metaphor.

but decay is bliss.

let it wash over you.
i said.
the compost of your life.
yes, the one that was lent to you.
...let me correct myself...
the one that was rented to you.

pay it. heavily.
with such a great and suffocating price.
of course, while you dig your vast pit... your imagined abyss...
multitasking for a true denizen of the piscean age.

then when you bend your broken back again, he pushes you.
you try to grasp a hold in between your pathetic sobs.
pathetic.

you ungraciously fall.
yet... she was there... she knows you... of you.
in her silence you found what was missing in his silence.

she held you long. yet you did not resent it.
in her damp mustiness, you met your self... and your self... and your self.

and on her bosom you were able to stand up again.

another year... fuck.

down with saccharine optimism... down with socially dictated hoping.

there's light at the end of the tunnel as long as someone paid the electric bill, or changed the bulb, or just even turn the freaking switch on.

walk through a crowd, singular and collective, and lose yourself...welcome to the age of aquarius... or is it pisces? not really sure.

humans like asking other humans, "how are you? are you okay?" knowing full well everybody else has shit to deal with in their lives... so, no, i'm not okay. lolz

fuck, 52 more weeks....

jaded. par excellence.

here's to crap. love and loving in 007

the first said he wasn't ready. stabbing me with such exquisite pain, it's waves rushing through the sensual borders of my being. reduced me to questionable worthlessness. summed me up with a phrase - i didn't even deserve a sentence.

the second i hurt. no excuses. except for not believing in a subjective emotion. he was a breath of fresh air. perhaps my system had already grown accustomed to the pollutions of man. move on, i said. he had other ideas.

the third. played a game. he enjoyed masochistically. allowed it to wash over him. apparently he hurts too. or something to that effect.

no more.


here's to crap.

no more.

no more... i am too tired. no more.

you have asked a lot from me already.

when will you let me breathe?

in the limitations of my mortal understanding, the belief that you have toyed with me creeps insidiously. you know more, in the infinity of your wisdom. omniscience.

cradle me. i am tired. do what you must.

friendship: a human illusion.

friends are only necessary if you want to have fun. have someone to drink barrels of coffee and alcohol with. have someone to bash other people's lives with. have them to laugh at and with.

friends exist in your universe for as long as they are necessary. for as long as you are necessary to them.

but never fall into the trap of assuming that friends exist when you have something as pathetic as a problem. problems are meant to be dealt with alone. again. alone.

don't even wish to learn this the hard way...

cheers.

now where did i put that bottle? (hic)

blessings of the mundane... and all that crap.

why are we so intent on drowning ourselves in the mundane? and then we wonder why we are finding it so hard to keep our head up and out of the waters at the very least...

the human race must be very masochistic. there must be something in our genes or dna that dictates that we should enjoy getting hurt / hurting ourselves to the point that we do it again... asking for it again...and again... and again... cheers.

and one is also behooved to wonder if there is a certain degree of sinning that can be excused as mundaneness... or is one just a bit hopeful? (heaven forbid.) hoping can be so mundane too. pardon the redundancy (well, redundancy is also mundane, but i digress...)

cheers.

being jaded is so mundane... i should get a life.

la di da. =+ =| =,

la lune...

I AM YOUR LIGHT IN THE TANGIBLE DARK.
I AM YOUR MOON, BLESSED YET BANEFUL.
YOU WORSHIP ME...
I AM DELICATE SELENE IN PERPETUAL YEARNING. VEILED IN SORROW. YOU TRACE MY CHARIOT'S GRAVE PATH IN THE ZENITH OF THE FIRMAMENT.
YOU LOVE ME.
I AM BOLD ARTEMIS. PROTECTOR AND EVER - VIRGIN.
YOUR INNER EAR STRAINS TO HEAR THE FALL OF MY FLEET FEET.
YOU ADORE ME.
I AM SPELLBINDING HECATE. ENCHANTING AND DANGEROUS. GODDESS OF THE FORKED PATH. EVEN THE GODS TREMBLE.
FEAR ME.
I AM THE MOON.
LOVER, HUNTER, WITCH.